Author’s note: I am not a doctor. The views here are part of my own story. I wrote it because I have suffered at times and want to share with you what has helped me, and what I hope is helpful advice for you. Always seek medical support if you are currently going through anything that seems more than you could handle.
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Thoughts lead to concerns that lead to worry, which leads to anxiety that can lead to depression, which leads to heightened anxiety, which not only begins the cycle over again but, left unchecked, amplifies the depression.
This is a description you may be familiar with and was the cycle I have found myself in at different points in my life. It’s how our minds can react to our situations. Most of this is an automatic response of our autonomic nervous system. You may have experienced this cycle at some point in your life, possibly right now.
There’s good news: You can break the cycle; it doesn’t have to be a permanent, recurring theme.
A year ago I was in a perpetual state of anxiousness that ended with roughly six months of utter despair. At the height of it, I slept for only a few hours a night because I would wake up in a cold sweat every night, had uncontrollable thoughts of suicide at times. This went on for months in a row. Many aspects of my life were outwardly very good but that is also largely unimportant to depression.
It was a terrible thing to go through and I’m writing this because if you’re dealing with this to any degree, you are not alone. I can relate and so do millions of other people.
In most cases, it can and will get better. It will take some active and willful effort but it absolutely does not have to remain this way.
Today, the circumstances in my life and environment are all essentially the same as they were when I was depressed, but the way I respond to them has made all the difference. I am content and excited about the future, all of which came as a result of implementing actions that began to reshape the way I viewed myself and, with that, my outlook. To know that was a possibility a year ago would have meant the world to me and it’s why I’d like to share how it occurred. This relates to anything from a bad day to an extended depressive episode.
1. Be Deliberately Active
This is all-encompassing and the most important piece of advice because it applies to every other piece of advice. This is the baseline to your life. If you are prone to depression, you are most likely an over-thinker and like to analyze. Be consciously active in whatever you do, focus on your actions instead of analyzing yourself or your feelings. Whether it’s as simple as getting out of bed, cleaning your kitchen, going for a walk or cooking a meal, focus on staying active and be present and aware of what you are doing and your surroundings.
Being active is not to be confused specifically or solely with being physically active. Even something like meditation, which could be described simply as sitting with your thoughts, can be done actively. Instead, being deliberately active is around being conscious, mindfully living and taking action in everything you do as opposed to letting your mind run free. The negative cycles that come from these states are compounded by complacency and action is the enemy of them. Take intentional action.
Anything can be active if it’s mindfully done.
2. Take Care of Your Body
This cannot be emphasized enough. Keep a log that places accountability on you for taking care of your physical body. If you are currently going through a depressive or hard time, make this your number one priority. Drink a lot of water, eat fruits and vegetables and avoid fatty, greasy foods. Take a shower, brush your teeth, shave, choose clothes you like, brush your hair. This is not a list of demands from your parents; you deserve the self-care. It feels wonderful to care about your body’s needs and you will begin to appreciate the time you take to do it.
Focus on taking care of what you can control and remember how intertwined your body is with the rest of your being. Depression has a way of convincing you that there is no way out of the current state you are in and you can neglect your most basic needs. Get plenty of sleep while keeping a regular sleep schedule; be consistent in making sure you get enough rest. These behaviors will translate into habits.
Do everything you can to ensure some exercise to whatever extent you can. Start by just taking a walk if needed and make an attempt at some point to get your heart rate up. Break a sweat and go for a run or see how many push-ups you can do. If that’s not doable right now, then make it a goal that you work towards. This will always improve your current state. You may consider depression or anxiety mental components but they are intrinsically and irreversibly tied to your physical well being. Take care of your body, you deserve it and you will almost always feel a boost in your mood when you do.
3. Create Something
This is another way to combat the automatic state of mind that you may be in. Build something simple like a small table, draw something, make a painting, write a story, make music. If you don’t feel like you have a creative bone in your body, get lost in a song you love. Cook a meal that you haven’t had in a long time, go to a store and hand select the exact ingredients, brands and a recipe and create a masterpiece.
Breaking the thought processes by creating or adding something to your life is a definitive way to gear yourself towards positive changes. In the same way our mind can run away with concerns, it can magnetically cleave to creating something. You’re the vehicle for this. We’re meant to want to make a difference in our environment, make any difference possible, start as small as you’d like and get lost in the process.
Realize that while you are depressed, your views of yourself, your past and the way you are envisioning your future are skewed. This is a wonderful fact, they are slighted towards the negative, it is an aspect of the condition. When you acknowledge this, it comes with the realization that you will not always be in that same place, that one day you will have a more balanced, clearer, truer version of your situation. Imagine being in a forest in a thick fog and trying to find your way out. You need to let the fog clear before this is even possible. The fact that you are even reading this proves that’s your goal. You may even need people around you to help guide you, maybe they’ve navigated this forest before.
With this in mind, don’t try to figure out all the big answers, things like purpose or ponder questions about failures or what if’s. The root of anxiety is intense internalized problem solving and many of the problems we create are either somewhat unreal, hypothetical or unsolvable. So focus on the smaller things first, and those larger answers will spontaneously start to reveal themselves with time, as the fog clears.
4. Be Open
One of the greatest tools for this time is expressing what you’re going through. If you don’t have anyone that you are comfortable enough to do this with, please seek professional medical help. Talk therapy can be immensely beneficial, there are many caring, qualified people who are trained and understand the difficulties that come with going through what you are. If you have friends or a partner that you are able to do this, that is a true blessing. Take time to be thankful for that fact and realize many people may not even have that.
One of the most unfortunate aspects of depression or anxiety is that it can lull you into wanted to isolate yourself or to convince you that you have nothing to offer. These are lies. I promise you do. Start by writing out your concerns, try to express what is at the heart of your situation and allow yourself to grieve or deal with those topics. Also write what you are thankful for, there’s always something and this act can get you considering what you do have instead of what you feel that you are lacking.
If you can do this type of activity with someone who you trust, wonderful, if not, seek a therapist. There are programs for people who do not have medical coverage also but getting the thoughts or worries that are ingrained in your mode of thinking out is pivotal to combating, changing and eventually eliminating them. It will begin to feel like a giant load off of your chest.
5. Be Honest with Yourself
The best way to practice this is through writing or journaling or discussion with someone you trust. This is the hardest of all the advise on here and is a lifelong, daily pursuit. Ask yourself some hard questions and be prepared for and delighted in the fact that you will not have all of the answers. It means you have time to work them out. Questions like,”Am I giving my all to certain areas of my life , work/school/family/health/hobbies?” “Am I settling for relationships that aren’t healthy?” “Is there something I’m putting off that’s important to me?” “Are there bad habits in my life I’d like to change?” A lot of your answers are going to be the opposite to some degree of what you may prefer them to be. That’s the power and struggle of this pursuit because in acknowledging these truths, you have a starting point for the change. It’s the very change that will gradually pull you out of the place you are stuck in.
Then put into action the steps that you need to take to get the answers you’d like to have. This is an ongoing practice that will always serve you well no matter where you are at in your development and pursuits or goals. Remember above all to not give into the temptation to expect immediacy, lasting change will always take time and effort, very rarely is anything good achieved quickly, accepting this fact is monumental is shifting your perspective. It’s also the joy of the journey.
6. Give Yourself Time
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Know that your body is set up to protect you and those around you and the very fact that you are in a state of worry is because you care, you care strongly about facets of life that matter. The way we are wired can cause you to feel like your body is betraying you, that despite your intentions, your mind or body is not cooperating. I know the pain that can accompany this period. But it doesn’t end here, your situation is flexible, your mind is malleable and your outlook can shift. This will take some effort but you have it in you to realize your full potential, to be content, to find new interests, create new relationships and be excited about what lays ahead.
Have a little hope and it can take you a long way, start slow but start now. Get up and take a walk. Take in the views and try to forget about anything that might be weighing you down. Write something about your situation. Start somewhere and watch what happens when you continue to take action. If you fall, if you can’t get out of bed tomorrow, start again. You can always start again and with a consistent dedication to improving your life, watch what begins to happen.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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