22 Ways to Assemble Election Pain Killers

By | November 14, 2017

With such words and phrases as global, global warming, global market, global…global whatever dominating over media agencies, both individuals, institutions and organizations of all kinds shivers with the alertness that it deserves, when it comes to election of their leaders. The fever is even more protracted when it comes to choosing of our national leaders. The seemingly universal tradition of presidential campaigns begins: the drones from low flying helicopters; the car sirens; the whistles; the sloganeering, Name it. All of this raging confusion scrambles for its place under the same ozone layer, combining its blend with the already dreaded chlorofluorocarbons. And every Tom, Dick and Harry, like the Roaches, uncoils their antennas to not only spy at the eloquence of each aspiring candidate, but also on the chanting of pledges, especially the one that rules favor towards the common man’s side. All this proceeds as the Baracks, the Bushes, the Browns Blairs…sorry, blares the P.A. systems with a theory here and a theory there about how each shall deliver a new messiah, Democracy? Here we shall always have the common man on one side, and the potential president on the other. Democracy or equality for all for this case, shall always remain a constant in this equation.

It reminds me of one man, who ignorantly misreads the Holy Scripture to mean that in the beginning, God created “Adam” and “Steve”. So he too is more than eager to ascertain how well his “Rights” shall be taken care of by this supposed single occupier of number one seat in the land. But before too long, a holy smoke billows out of the chimney to announce the victor of the election. But whether this truth shall be happy news shall always be, as it has been, relative. By the end of such an exercise, both body and soul requires a re-read of Le chatelier’s principle to restore order to the entire ecosystem. To ensure a sober nerve, here is makeshift survival kit before you go out to vote. Ensure to have:

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1. At least 2 weeks supply of milk, bread, meat and other staples.
2. A generous supply of cell phone credit
3. Friends who are a phone call away for comfort.
4. Adversaries who are a phone call away for venting one’s spleen
5. Chewing gum to keep the mouth busy (without doing any damage)
6. Children/pets for a sobering, who cares anyway
7. Ear plugs (to shut out the noise of helicopters, gunfire, shouts of victory or despair from Neighbors, and crowds baying for your/somebody’s blood.
8. Acetone and detergent to remove the voter’s iodine stain from your little finger.
9. Yoga skills/lessons to psychologically help you: settle your Tummy; sustain bad news -Since whatever discomfort your body encounters hitherto is often psychological.
10. A bale of super soft Loo paper
11. An air freshener and super strong toilet cleaner
12. A person who knows how to perform CPR and an oxygen canister in case of heart stopping news.
13. A holy book to help you draft positive text messages for your terrified/furious friends
14. A hymn book for comfort/entertainment
15. A cushion for kneeling in prayer
16. A square ruled paper, pencil and especially an eraser for rapid tallying of poll results
17. A remote control for rapidly switching off the TV when the more outrageous political events and comments become too much for your blood pressure
18. A full tank of fuel for a rapid getaway
19. A skipping rope for healthy, geographically-confined exercise
20. Comrades in the house
21. A forgiving heart
22. At least a residual income affiliate program the you promote to cushion you against any possible Economic limbo that is often heralded by transitions between governments.

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And above all, be yourself.

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